Uncle Walter's Bad Romance Novel Quotes

Machine gun jubblies

"He moved down and sucked her bullet nipples, teasing them with his teeth, making her tingle and gasp."

His Unbearable Desire -- Elena Stone

Happy Anniversary!

Today is the 6 year anniversary of the day Uncle Walter started this blog. It has been an amazing time, filled with wacky adventures and more euphemisms than we care to remember.

Thank you, everyone, for sharing this journey with us.

-- UW & The Wife

"Yes, Clippy! Assist me! Assist me hard!"

"But she had already come once, and it would take more than fucking to get her to bust another ovary. Clippy seemed to sense it. 'It looks like you are trying to reach orgasm. Can I assist you using butt stuff?'
She nodded, beads of sweat jiggling on her forehead. With his rod so deep inside of her, Clippy was easily able to pick her up like a kebab and flip her over onto her hands and knees."

Conquered by Clippy -- Leonard Delaney

P.S. Special thanks to bisexualzuko and harlequin-resents for linking us to this masterpiece.

P.P.S. Happy 6th Blogversary, Uncle Walter!

Then burst out of her like Alien spawn. Except during sex.

"His cock was harder than a surface-to-air missile, ready to launch inside her."

Blind Heat -- Delta Dupree

"I'm gonna catch you, you better run! I'm gonna catch you, here I come!"

"Then, she screamed out loudly, his name echoing around the bar, and he chased her orgasm with his own, groaning as the pleasure ripped through him, tearing through every damn cell in his body, lighting him up with electricity."

First Night -- Lauren Blakely

The perils of dating TomTom™

"He closed his eyes, rocked into her mouth, and told her what was coming next.
Him."

Night After Night -- Lauren Blakely

...And the rockets' rainbow glare, the bombs bursting in her hair...

"His fingers danced intimately along her skin, teasing her in places she'd only imagined being touched, igniting the fuel of a thousand rockets deep in her soul.
She couldn't speak, could only murmur soft sounds of pleasure as he stroked her secret places. Her body tightened as a rainbow swallowed her, reds and purples dancing on her skin, oranges and blues shooting from her fingertips, yellows and greens crackling and sparkling in her hair.
The rocket in her soul burned hotter."

Aphrodite's Kiss -- Julie Kenner

The Blue Wire... No the Red Wire!

"When at last he entered her, a rush of tiny explosions consumed her and she cried out with pleasure."

Enemies and Playmates -- Darcia Helle

"Do you have a W-2 or a 1099?"

"Then she pushed down the boxers, and his erect cock came swinging out, hard and ready for business."

Taken By... The Tax Man -- Nic Saint

Great, now they're even putting jump-scares in sex scenes

"She unzipped his encumbering trousers releasing his cock. The engorged entity sprang free."

Blind Heat -- Delta Dupree