Uncle Walter's Bad Romance Novel Quotes

But it only knew children's songs, which was super awkward.

"My cock still hummed with the pleasure from her perfect, tight cunt."

Bastard's Baby -- B.B. Hamel

But the line was hours long and when he finally got there he was no longer registered

"His cock and balls voted to get right to work, while his wolf screamed for a closer sniff of her neck, and his hands begged for more of those perfect, pert tits."

Charmed in Vegas -- Michelle Fox

Post Traumatic Sex Disorder

"Pleasure exploded along her nerve-endings in a blinding wave. She lost any sense of time, all ability to reason. Wicked excitement controlled her. He pushed her vest and her bra out of his path and stroked the painfully beaded tips of her breasts until she was whimpering she knew not what. From that point there wasn't a moment where she regained control or even came close. She was squirming, writhing, begging him not to stop, possessed by a greedy blaze of elemental need. At an intoxicating high of delirious pleasure she was gripped by wild convulsions of ecstatic release. Shell-shocked by the jolting, all-encompassing power of that experience, she clung to him in the aftermath."

The Italian's Inexperienced Mistress -- Lynne Graham

Xenomorph fan fiction? That was not what we were expecting.

"With a groan, he pulled his lips from hers, his mouth burning with fire."

Cowboy for Sale -- Janet Wellington

Twatnado

"Her whole body was shaking with fury and desire. 'Easy, love,' he said, rubbing a finger back and forth over her, sending shockwaves coursing into the swollen wet vortex of her sex."

Temptation in Time -- Alexa Aames (Secrets Vol. 14)

There's only one way for this to end...

"His skin was soft and warm where it touched me and I could feel his heart thumping rapidly in his chest."

Touchpaper -- Katy Baker

They were stuck with each other.

"They lay together, he still inside her, for a long while. They grew sleepy together and slowly Mazjid shrank and withdrew. Their stickiness bothered neither of them; it was like a magical glue holding them together."

Jinn of Lust -- Jill Sterling

They probably had pincers.

"She frowned at his genitals."

Taken -- Erica Conroy

Someone call the exorcist. Yeah, he's doing it again.

"She shook violently as her orgasm hit her, forcing her to cry out and claw at his back and buttocks. Rogan came alive , taking joy in the sensation of being in love again, his mind and body as one. He groaned out aloud as he released days of stress and anguish, letting his body levitate into a state of ethereal bliss."

Choosing Hearts -- Diana Quippley

P.S. Formatting and grammatical issues are those of the author, not Uncle Walter.

A nice MLT -- mutton, lettuce, and tomato sandwich, where the mutton is nice and lean and the tomatoes are ripe.

"Her muscles clenched around my head like an angry fist. I waited until she relaxed before I moved my hips again. She gasped as I sank into her half way. I drew myself back slowly, then pushed again while she pushed against me. With that, I was buried to the balls in her behind. 
'Stay there,' she said. Slowly, she shrank until she was around me like plastic wrap on a sandwich."

Bonus:

Size Matters -- Sasha Twyst