Uncle Walter's Bad Romance Novel Quotes

Adult Swim

"Then he palmed her butt cheeks again, though from this new angle, spread them apart, took another deep breath and dove in."

Taken Back -- Alyna Amorosi

Like an angry dart going wildly off course. In her vagina.

"Under her breath she muttered the word, 'yes,' and gyrated her hips as she felt her orgasm raging at her clit and embedded in the walls of her sodden pussy."

The Billionaire's Weekend Bride -- Kimmy Love

A vagina is not a hula hoop

"He felt the tension snap in her body, her passage clenching and undulating around his fingers and the muscles in her thighs fluttering like butterflies."

Bound: Captive to a Pirate -- Lilith T. Bell

CANNONBALL!

"Easing down on the bed, he kissed the inside of her thighs, her stomach, her hip -- and then he dove in between her legs."

Greek Billionaire's Blackmailed Bride -- Leslie North

Cuntapult

"The first touch of his tongue shot her off the bed as it slid over her swollen nub."

For the Sake of Sin -- Suzie Grant

They're having sex on a paddleboard. "Dizzy" is probably a bad thing to be.

"That was it, all she needed, and her climax shuddered through her in wild bursts of color and sensation that left her in a state of dizzy bliss."

Wilde Nights in Paradise -- Tonya Burrows

After that, he'd go spelunking.

"Jed could see skin flash inside the split and two little points poked their presence in the worn cotton bodice. Her breasts didn't droop. He imagined himself half an inch tall, standing on one nipple and throwing a lasso across her divide to the other nipple then swinging from one nipple to the other."

Wagon Train Lolitas -- Lisa Cartwright

But we find that Thibault cancels out Capo Ferro.

"As Zoya thrashed, Charlotte once more attacked her swollen clit as the woman caressed her own heaving breasts."

Deep: A Captive Tale -- Sam J.D. Hunt

Even in an imaginary race, you'd come in second place

"There was no race, no competition. But if there was then he would win."

Primal Instinct -- Sydney Somers

It liked to climb mountains and shit, and it didn't feel bad about that at all.

"He almost groaned at the lost opportunity, but he didn't give chase as his always-intrepid cock begged him to do."

Followed by:

"And inexplicably, his unrepentant cock began to twitch and swell."

Hell On Wheels -- Julie Ann Walker