Uncle Walter's Bad Romance Novel Quotes

An Amorous Apocalypse. Again. How many is this now?

"'You're the best thing I've ever done with my life,' he replied, thrust even more deeply, even more powerfully, and Jenna thought she was going to be torn apart. He rammed and slammed and pounded her, causing her eyes to roll into the back of her head. Feeling senseless and breathless she just let the pleasure shoot through her like lightning, electrifying her skin. Short, sharp moans were lifted into the air from her mouth, while Riley grunted as the two of them brought themselves closer and closer to that sweet climax, until suddenly their bodies jerked with mutual delight and a hot volcano flowed within them. They dug their fingers into each other as they braced themselves for the force of the orgasm, which was like an earthquake and almost shattered their bones."

Impregnated By the SEAL -- Riley Moreno

Something, something, something lightning rod joke.

"It was like being touched by a thunderstorm, sent her nerves into electric spasms and made her blood boom in her ears."

Dragon Call -- Emi Davis

Come on now, you can do it, put a little power to it!

"She encouraged his thrusts to go deeper, faster...such delicious pressure as he seemed to know exactly how to move until she felt the wave begin and build, soon helpless to control herself from screaming her pleasure as her own climax engulfed her. Stars exploded behind her eyelids and she felt strangely detached from her body, and yet at the same time, connected intimately to every cell of her being."

Cowboy for Sale -- Janet Wellington

Someone needs an asbestos condom

"His eager fingers parted her lush softness, teasing the pert bud in between; the overflow of sticky moisture that dripped onto his palm stirring the fire in his loins to an ecstatic inferno."

Kincaid's Passion -- Riley Moreno (Highland Repress)

It seems you've confused "orgasm" with a nuclear explosion. Again.

"It came on so easily, as if it hadn't been hiding at all, streaking through my limbs until I was white-hot and shaking. Every cell, every fiber of my body glowed and shone, my every molecule quivered with the brilliance of my orgasm."

Free Me -- Laurelin Paige

It required the expertise of an erotic structural engineering seamstress

"Though not yet fully matured, she had already reached the age where the full white terrace of her breasts swelled against the retaining fabric of her gown, the current of her ripening form rising inexorably to overflow the woven levee of restraint."

Amour -- Samantha Kaye

The ambient weather conditions of her nether regions are uncertain at this time

"A slow burn of damp ecstasy erupted in her core. She felt herself go wetter, she coated him with the elixir he could effortlessly draw from her cunt." 

A Wanton Thief -- Titania Ladley

It's the end of the world as we know it (and I feel fine)

"I undulated up and down, back and forth, as though I were riding a galloping horse. It felt as if every molecule of my body was comprised entirely of neon electricity, a crackling, tingling energy that would build and build and build and finally explode, completely obliterating everything else."

The Edge of Tomorrow -- Sierra Rose

The Lowest Temp for Magma is 1,292 °F and 3rd Degree Burns Begin at 120 °F - Do the Math

"Heat spilled over my skin like molten lava, burning, consuming, coating my body until I was one quivering mass."

Club Prive -- M.S. Parker

A Corpus Callosum injury is uncommon in magma based intercourse

"The orgasm rose inside them and exploded out like a thunderous volcano, moving through their bodies and splitting their minds in two."

The Seal Seduction -- Riley Moreno