Uncle Walter's Bad Romance Novel Quotes

But the campaign finance reform didn't hurt.

"Oh, there was something electric about this man. Just being in his presence made my loins quiver with enthusiasm, not just for campaign finance reform but for the man who could possess such beautiful toes.
'Sir,' I said. 'You've got to help me.'
Bernie turned away from the ice machine. 'Do you have student loans?'"

Feeling the Bernie: The Hot Confessions of a Hillary Volunteer -- A.A. Andrews

He treats romance like a business

"Her tender nipples throbbed beneath his administrations while a feverish damp heat stirred between her thighs."

The Italian's Inexperienced Mistress -- Lynne Graham

We're pretty sure these are not appropriate interviewing techniques, and she's overqualified anyway

"'You're too horny for a job like this. Why are you applying?' It was strange having a serious conversation with a man who was deep in her pussy for the sole purpose of ascertaining if she was suitable for a job, but powerless underneath him, it wasn't like she really had any say in the matter."

Sleeping Lady -- Cleo Peitsche

"If we call it organic we can charge twice as much at Whole Foods!"

"She tugged and licked at the relatively small protusions of flesh, exulting in his hardening reaction to the stimulation. She pushed his jeans and underpants down his loins, extracted the taut, hefty piston of his manhood, weighing it deliberately in her hand as she drew back to look at it, a mad boldness seizing her mind."

Craving Jamie -- Emma Darcy

P.S. Spelling errors are not ours.

He wasn't authorized to make a withdrawal from the Spongy Bank

"Aviva could hear the sounds of moisture in her body as it flowed from her opening, down onto Jason's skilled fingers. Thrashing her head from side to side on the bed her inner muscles clamped down on his fingers, making it increasingly difficult for him to withdraw. He knew she was close so he changed the angle and depth of his fingers, tapping firmly against the bank of spongy nerve ending inside her vagina while his other hand pressed down on her pubic bone to intensify her pleasure."

Abandoned But Not Alone -- Theresa L. Henry

P.S. Grammatical errors are the author's, not ours.

Cheap, costume jewels. And a dull penny.

"Candlelight made her hair penny-bright; the curls between her thighs sparkled like a handful of jewels."

Sea of Dreams -- Elizabeth DeLancey

Game shows were getting pretty serious this season

"Apparently he was willing to risk losing his cock or having his bed set on fire."

Red Moon -- Elizabeth Kelly

Your body is a wonderland. Oh, wait, sorry -- your body IS Wonderland. How much for a Family Pass?

"As though propelled on a swing, reaching peak height and driving back the other direction, his tongue eased back and forth over the length of my slit several times before he settled around my clit. The tip ran circles around and over my sensitive bud. The swing, no longer swaying to and fro, began to slowly spin, raising me further from the ground as its ropes twisted together."

Followed by:

"I don't remember breathing at all, until the swing could wind no more, having reached its tightest point. The breath rushed out of my body as his hot lips sucked my clit hard, his slick tip still lashing me without relent, and the swing began to spin the opposite direction, gaining momentum with each full circle. It felt as though my body was hurtling through the air- space down, around, every which direction as orgasmic spasms seized me."

Crazy Emma -- Brandie Buckwine

"Do you have a W-2 or a 1099?"

"Then she pushed down the boxers, and his erect cock came swinging out, hard and ready for business."

Taken By... The Tax Man -- Nic Saint

If DeBeers sold vaginas.

"His throbbing shaft nudged the final barrier of her maidenhead at the heart of the satiny folds, rubbing against the pearl of her desire."

Twin Passions -- Miriam Minger