Uncle Walter's Bad Romance Novel Quotes

Adult Swim

"Then he palmed her butt cheeks again, though from this new angle, spread them apart, took another deep breath and dove in."

Taken Back -- Alyna Amorosi

...did he just metaphorically call her a slut?

"My thumb curves around her sensitive bud, strumming her like a well-played guitar."

Dirty -- HJ Bellus

We see what you did there...

"Her legs opened, and he slid into the quivering heat of her, like a released arrow seeking its target."

Savage Rogue -- Michalann Perry

Unfortunately it was rusty and the only thing he got out of it was tetanus

"She'd thought she remembered everything about making love to Cutter, but she'd forgotten how intoxicating his touch was, forgotten how he made every inch of her body an erogenous playground."

Cowboy Commando -- Joanna Wayne

Like an angry dart going wildly off course. In her vagina.

"Under her breath she muttered the word, 'yes,' and gyrated her hips as she felt her orgasm raging at her clit and embedded in the walls of her sodden pussy."

The Billionaire's Weekend Bride -- Kimmy Love

With just as little skill

"He pulled his finger out and began to play with my tender clit. Vigorously circling it like a finger-painting child."

Gloria's Secret -- Nelle L'Amour

The judging was tight but it won big at the county fair

"Leaning down, he placed a kiss at her prized center before allowing his tongue to slowly lick its way up. Her low scream of ecstasy urged him on."

Forbidden Hunger -- Teresa Gabelman

Don't put the sounding rod in the fire

"She made a soft sound, a quiet moan of pleasure that sent a shaft of heat straight to his cock."

Delicious Do-Over -- Debbi Rawlins

In preparation for his great sacrificial leap.

"They had started the show without me and as I listened to her take every inch of what Quazi had to offer, my inner thighs became moist in preparation and my pussy walls became tight with anticipation."

"He pulled out of Yasmine and threw himself into my mouth."

Embellished Truths -- Dreas

This book doesn't exist on Amazon. So here's a book about Basketry.

Are they... uh... contortionists?

"Travis groaned and lifted Lily's other leg and secured it around her waist."

"There was no hesitation as he knelt beside her head and began greedily sucking his cock."

Beautiful Pleasure -- Lucia Jordan