Uncle Walter's Bad Romance Novel Quotes

Step away from the thesaurus. We have reached critical mass.

"His joy in her enthralled him as they began to move together and he had the intense pleasure of knowing she had slipped beyond all reality but him and was giving from the depths off her being.
Their senses rose together on the crest of a passion wild beyond anything they could have imagined.
Caught in wave after wave of gloriously exultant pleasure, Kairee could only cling to the solidness of his huge fraame as their bodies, their passions, and their completion, molded them into one.
His hard body filled her and she felt a stunning, beautiful, expanding bloom of ravaging rapture that made her arch against his deep, full strokes until a wild, soaring ecstasy burst upon them and he clasped her to him as if he could draw her within himself and hold her forever.
Kairee felt the thunderous beat of his heart against her naked breasts  and heard their ragged breathing, and time seemed to be poised on the brink of eternity as they clung together."

Wild Wyoming Heart -- Sylvie F.  Sommerfield

Is Rainbowphilia a thing? 'Cause this chick's got it.

"A rainbow of colors shot through her -- blue mating with yellow, red having its way with green -- copulating colors, dancing and spinning like so many fairies, and oh, how she envied each and every one of them."

Aphrodite's Kiss -- Julie Kenner

Is she even human? Because she doesn't sound human...

"'Look,' he said. 'Look at yourself, your flower, in the mirror.'
Suddenly, inexplicably, Margot was afraid. She was not sure she could look. Remy cupped her breasts, pinched her nipples, and the familiar twinge of pleasure sprang forth deep inside her, flushing her vulva with moistness. Remy reached down and slid a finger between her pussy lips, rubbing up and down, barely touching the opening of her vagina, making her breath catch in her throat. In her hand she clutched the lion dildo so hard her knuckles were white. Remy pushed her legs apart further, and reached up kneading and rolling her nipples between his fingers. 'Look!' he commanded, and Margot snapped her eyes open and looked into the mirror.
Her pussy was red and lavender and swollen and pulsing. She could see the sucking motion it made, wanting to be filled. It was violent and gentle and beautiful like Remy's painting. She gasped, staring at it, at the self she'd never known.
Remy reached down gently and took the hand that held the lion. 'Don't look away,' he said in her ear, and he guided her hand, guided the lion's head toward her swollen, wanting pussy. He lightly rubbed the ridges of the carved head of the dildo over her stiff clitoris, making her vagina quiver like a mouth that wanted to suck.
Margo was mesmerized at the sight of herself. She began to work the dildo between her pussy lips, the mane and face of the lion becoming slick and milky with her honey. Remy reached up and pinched both nipples hard, causing a gasping shudder deep inside Margot, and she plunged the dildo deep in her pussy, watching in the mirror as the lion's head disappeared deep inside her again and again and again, her nipples taut and huge and stiff, full of painful pleasure as Remy rolled and pinched them between his fingernails.
He was working himself against her back, his cum lubricating the skin between them, and she felt the head of his cock slide up and down the knobs of her vertebrae. She pushed the yellow-wood deeper, deeper, twisting it against her clit and Remy pressed down, pinching both nipples so hard between his fingers that they burned with fire, and she watched as she came, spilling sticky, sparkling fluid out onto her hands, Remy shooting hot wetness against her, bathing each other in their sweetness."

Open Market Desire -- Monica Austin (The Heat)

Very hot and awfully wet

"His eyes burned over her skin, lingering on her breasts until her nipples tightened to hard little points that ached for his touch. Then lower, so a fire coiled in her belly, and moist heat welled up between her clenched thighs."

Break Out -- Nina Croft

Unfortunately it was rusty and the only thing he got out of it was tetanus

"She'd thought she remembered everything about making love to Cutter, but she'd forgotten how intoxicating his touch was, forgotten how he made every inch of her body an erogenous playground."

Cowboy Commando -- Joanna Wayne

Post Traumatic Sex Disorder

"Pleasure exploded along her nerve-endings in a blinding wave. She lost any sense of time, all ability to reason. Wicked excitement controlled her. He pushed her vest and her bra out of his path and stroked the painfully beaded tips of her breasts until she was whimpering she knew not what. From that point there wasn't a moment where she regained control or even came close. She was squirming, writhing, begging him not to stop, possessed by a greedy blaze of elemental need. At an intoxicating high of delirious pleasure she was gripped by wild convulsions of ecstatic release. Shell-shocked by the jolting, all-encompassing power of that experience, she clung to him in the aftermath."

The Italian's Inexperienced Mistress -- Lynne Graham

Sounds like he needs some Benadryl® and an oatmeal bath

"My cock is itching to be buried in some sweet, unsuspecting woman."

Fated Desire -- Franca Storm

Unless he's a Witch Doctor dispensing romantic advice, there's no excuse for this.

"'Oh. Oh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Oooooooooooooh,' he said, as he pushed a little deeper into me and finished his powerful orgasm, robbing me of mine."

Single -- Lyra Parish

Sounds like you need Pepto-Bismol® for heartburn and diarrhea!

"My chest feels like I have little fires through it. And I have a strange feeling between my legs."

Rescued by the Seal -- Carla Parker

Scrotal Vertigo can affect anyone without warning.

"The rush of lust to his crotch was dizzying, and when she licked her lips, he knew he was in serious lust."

Seducing Jane Porter -- Dominique Adair