Uncle Walter's Bad Romance Novel Quotes

That's not milk.

"'I hear you, my lioness,' he whispered, then gave her what she wanted, nudging her legs slightly apart before licking her pink flesh with the tenderness and precision of a giant cat drinking milk, only it was her milk he was tasting. His tongue was warm and moist against her, electrifying her insides until she felt a blissful rush of heat building within."

Taken by the Alpha Wolf -- Clara Moore

Her attempts to flush him out had failed

"Moisture flooded the apex of her thighs as his cock remained buried deep inside her."

Hunted Holiday -- Mandy M. Roth

Not sure if he's sexy or if she has an intestinal parasite

"He was pure, masculine power, and something primitive clawed inside of her, begging to get out."

A Bear in Need -- Christa Kelley

We're writing about fart fetishes now?

"He kissed across her stomach and then did a raspberry that had her writhing and bursting out in laughter.
'I love that sound,' he said, and sent her into another fit just to hear more of it."

Wild on You -- Tina Wainscott

Well. That got dark really quickly. And kind of gross.

"His cock was digging into her navel determinedly, unashamedly, eagerly. She wanted it to be inside her, ripping her open and filling her."

Thrill -- Lucia Jordan

"Yes, Clippy! Assist me! Assist me hard!"

"But she had already come once, and it would take more than fucking to get her to bust another ovary. Clippy seemed to sense it. 'It looks like you are trying to reach orgasm. Can I assist you using butt stuff?'
She nodded, beads of sweat jiggling on her forehead. With his rod so deep inside of her, Clippy was easily able to pick her up like a kebab and flip her over onto her hands and knees."

Conquered by Clippy -- Leonard Delaney

P.S. Special thanks to bisexualzuko and harlequin-resents for linking us to this masterpiece.

P.P.S. Happy 6th Blogversary, Uncle Walter!

Ugh. And I thought he smelled bad on the outside.

"She breathed in the scent of him, and burrowed deeper into his chest."

The Wedding Trap -- Adrienne Bell

Size does matter

"It was approximately the size of a kid's baseball bat with thick veins wrapping around it like vines up a tree trunk.
'Fuck me, I'm not drunk enough for this. You didn't happen to bring poppers, did you?' Dylan asked.
'Sure,' Heath responded. 'In the first aid kit between the X and Boy Butter.'
'Sarcasm isn't helping. I'm going to need something.'
'Colostomy bag?'"

Ambushed in the Bush -- Amelia Cavendish

Well, let's just assume that we haven't seen the real bulk of the magma yet.

"She could feel the sexual lava bubbling to the surface of her consciousness, her vagina contracting, her cunt oozing juices. More frenetic now, she wiggled her ass in counterpoint to the motion of his fingers, felt his thumb pressing into her asshole.
The volcano blew. She felt every muscle go rigid as fiery sensations exploded across her body, from the center outward. She let out a long, incoherent moan that came from the visceral core of her being."

Dance of the Seven Veils -- Chris Anson

This is a link for the same author but a different book.

 

"There's a wetness coming from my pants... It's warm and moist... Oh, it smells!"

"Now, her arousal soaked through her panties, filling the room with a fragrance he would never forget."

A White Cougar Christmas -- Eliza Gayle