Uncle Walter's Bad Romance Novel Quotes

Integrated sex education and botany classes never really took off.

"'I've always imagined what your pussy would look like' he says, using a finger to open my moistening flower."

Beautiful Ruin -- Alison Foster

But it was 90° so she kicked him out of bed and turned up the air conditioner

"She caught the hunger in his eyes, sexual heat radiating from him in ravenous waves."

Bedeviled Angel -- Annette Blair

And the yodeling certainly didn't help

"I would have found the experience relaxing, I think, if it hadn't been for John standing just a foot behind her, staring hard at my bald, wet clitoris peeking though the shaving cream like a mountain top peeking through the clouds."

The Birthday Present -- Lynzee Britain

Chewing is for pussies

"He pushed in, watching her body stretch open and then clutch around his cock like starved lips sucking in a stout sausage."

Lord of the Bears 4 -- Jess Hayek

Finding someone to fulfill your fish-out-of-water fetish: Priceless

"I stared at his naked cock and swallowed hard again as it flopped around in front of me. It was magnificent and I was slightly overwhelmed as I stared at it."

That Night With My Boss -- Helen Cooper, J.S. Cooper

Textbook definition of "bad sex," sound effects included

"He slammed balls deep inside me with that fat, magnificent cock and started to fuck me like a madman. His eyes closed and he pounded me mercilessly, the wet squelching of my pussy and animal-like grunts were the only sounds I heard."

Stepbrother Obsession -- E. Friend

Thousands of teeny tiny fleshy muscular organs attacking her nether regions

"I contracted my vagina and Bryan went wild with ecstasy as the walls of my vagina squeezed his penis until he climaxed as well. We both climaxed successfully as I savored the joy of thousands of tongues in my pussy."

The Last Salvo -- Howard Weatherby

This book is no longer available at Amazon.com and there are no other books by that author to list here so... here's one on Bass Fishing.

...And the rockets' rainbow glare, the bombs bursting in her hair...

"His fingers danced intimately along her skin, teasing her in places she'd only imagined being touched, igniting the fuel of a thousand rockets deep in her soul.
She couldn't speak, could only murmur soft sounds of pleasure as he stroked her secret places. Her body tightened as a rainbow swallowed her, reds and purples dancing on her skin, oranges and blues shooting from her fingertips, yellows and greens crackling and sparkling in her hair.
The rocket in her soul burned hotter."

Aphrodite's Kiss -- Julie Kenner

We shall go on to the end, we shall fight in bed with growing confidence and growing strength whatever the cost may be

"Pleasure ran rapid through me, spreading out and conquering every inch."

Forbidden -- Savannah Rylan

Sideways

"Once he was seated fully inside, he leisurely slid in and out of me, in the most irritating of ways."

Forbidden -- Savannah Rylan