Uncle Walter's Bad Romance Novel Quotes

No matter what your genitals say, you should really stay away from children.

"I wondered earlier if the kid was into me or not. My cock gave a sympathetic throb."

Hard Body Rock -- Nora Flite

And this is how lyme disease can be an STI.

"I opened my mouth, accepting his probing tongue. I could sense his need for me in the kiss, and it was more than sexual. It was like he was drinking me in, trying to climb inside my skin."

The Ghost and the Graveyard -- Genevieve Jack

It's as if they just wrote out a sitrep of their sexy times...

"Her fingers digging into the rigid muscles of his thighs, she let him direct the pace of her mouth moving up and down the rampant cock wet with her saliva. She lost track of time, aware of only the man using her for his sexual gratification and the subsequent arousal that made her thick fluids trickle down between her legs. He pulled her mouth off his shaft, shifted closer to the edge of the seat and, in a strained, husky voice, told her to suck his testicles.
She enclosed the taut sac within her mouth, her lips tickled by his dark, wiry pubic hair. She suckled him, rubbing her tongue across the underside of his sac, tracing patterns all over him with the pointed tip. He cursed, drew her head back and, gripping his cock in a tight fist, rubbed the tip of it across her lips. She obediently parted them, gave him a single lick and took him inside once more.
He shouted her name when he climaxed and salty liquid hit her tongue and the back of her throat. Katarzyna swallowed. When his body stopped jerking, she released him from her mouth and, per his order, licked him clean."

Rules of Engagement -- Ann Bruce

And boy does it wick away moisture! Gallons and gallons of it!

"Then Jonathan groaned and flooded what felt like gallons of salty come into her throat."

Office Toy -- Cleo Peitsche

Uncle Walter had spinal surgery this morning.

As such, there will be no post tonight. Sorry for the inconvenience.

-- The Uncle Walter Team

IKEA has an instruction manual for everything.

"He works his magic on B #1 then transports his sexy mouth to B #2."

Life in a Rut, Love Not Included -- J.D. Hollyfield

Turkey Twat with "Sausage" Stuffing

"'You got anything for me?' he asked as he brandished his dick for my viewing pleasure.
I love fat cock. My pussy wept with joy to see his -- all dusky and veined. I wanted all of it stuffed inside me."

Lucky Leprecock -- CJ Starr

Was there just the one?

"I rubbed her breast, her massive, juicy breast and started to gently pinch at her nipple through the cotton bra."

Girl on Girl -- Pepper Potts

This book is no longer available on Amazon.com.

Shy and elusive, Penises are hard to see in the wild and often bashful in captivity.

"She reached around and ran her hands across his stomach, then up over his chest. As she ran them back down again she slipped a finger inside the top of his jeans and his cock sprang to life hopefully. Whoa! Where had that come from?"

Love Like You've Never Been Hurt -- SJ McCoy

It's gonna rub him out...

"His cock was going to kill him but it had been worth it."

Winter's Heart -- A.C. Warneke