Uncle Walter's Bad Romance Novel Quotes

Old Spicy Sweat Scented Odorant Mate Attractant

"He smelled of mint and perspiration -- and desire."

Angel Be Good -- Kathy Carmichael

They were charged with Coital Disobedience resulting in minimal property damage

"His good hand clasped her hip, anchoring him to her, guiding her in the relentless riot of sensations."

Heart's Surrender -- Kathleen Morgan

Our response to this is best illustrated with the following GIF...

"He freed himself completely from his braies and probed until he found the plumped, moist petals that hid the entrance to the secret citadel. He entered her with a care that strained his self-mastery to the limit. Her body was impossibly tight around him. It was as though he tried to ease himself through the narrow entrance of a cave passage."

Mystique -- Amanda Quick 

That was the last time she ate a double bean burrito before bed

"On top of that, she'd been dreaming about him. Last night, she and he had been married, living in a cabin in the mountains. They'd talked about bears and how to dig a fishing hole. Then at some point, the dream had turned sexual and she'd been sixteen again, madly in love and hotly in heat.
Tension lingered despite the killer run, infusing her lower abdomen with frustrating heaviness, a reminder of what she may never feel again. Intermittent cramps taunted her."

Easy Loving -- Sheryl Lynn

And you don't even want to see how wild she is when she gets ahold of carpet swatches!

"She dropped them on the bench, sensing the heat climb her cheeks. Not that she was embarrassed, damn it. Just a little more turned on than she cared to admit.  'I was just going over some decorating samples--' She was talking too fast, her words breathless and rushed."

Sex & the Single Girl -- Joanne Rock

Poor Kissing Technique #21: Blowing Raspberries Directly into Your Partner's Mouth

"There was an inciting, palpable ardor to his kiss, in the press of his warm, slightly chapped lips, in the deep, slippery-moist inquiry of his tongue."

Beast -- Judith Ivory

 

Some people just want to watch the world burn

"And their passion rose, like a bushfire raging way out of control, and neither of them attempted to stop it."

Leave Yesterday Behind -- Lynsey Stevens

She was like a puzzle for a developmentally delayed psychopath!

"Being in Flynn's arms like this made her feel desirable and wholly feminine, one half of a two-piece, flesh and blood jigsaw."

Christmas at his Command -- Helen Brooks

"Efficient" is a poor euphemism for "not a lot to work with," if you know what we mean

"I'm happy to find that I can still get aroused  as efficiently as ever."

Heat of the Moment -- Lori Herter

Ineffective materials for use in condoms, part 1

"He wrapped her legs around his waist, his denim-covered erection flush against the sensitive folds between her legs."

The Cowboy Who Never Grew Up -- Kimberly Raye (Blazing Bedtime Stories, Volume VIII)