Uncle Walter's Bad Romance Novel Quotes

A woman's "real" erogenous zones are Area 51 and (Location Withheld)

"His smile lit fires in her secret regions, and when she took him in her mouth again he responded to every lick and tickle."

Tempted by a Cowboy (Long Hard Ride) -- Melissa MacNeal

How much boob could a Boobchuck chuck if a Boobchuck could chuck boob?

"He broke the kiss, burrowing his head between her breasts."

The Defenders Lawyers in Love (Bittersweet Homecoming) -- Ann Jacobs

The breakfast treat that tastes just like sawdust!

"She'd known he had freckle fields on the top of his shoulders, but not that his skin would taste like toast and butter."

My Fake Fiancee -- Nancy Warren

 the breakfast treat that "tastes just like sawdust" the breakfast treat that "tastes just like sawdust"

Different isn't always better.

"She clung to him as he pressed her hard against the wall and began pummelling his hips against her pussy."

Five minutes earlier:

"'Hold on love,' he said, much lower now. 'I'm going to fuck you like you've never been fucked before.'"

Blackstar: Future Knight -- Cheyenne McCray

. -..- ..- .-.. - .- -. - .--. --- ... ... . ... ... .. --- -! . -..- ..- .-.. - .- -. - .--. --- ... ... . ... ... .. --- -!

"It seemed that every cell awoke to sweet remembrance... this was her man, her mate, her other half, and she welcomed him back with all her being, instinctively riding with his rhythm and wantonly urging a tempest of physical savagery which pounded its message of exultant possession to a climax of shuddering ecstasy."

Point of Impact -- Emma Darcy

Despite her years of preparation and hard work, Guinness refused to recognize her record for Regurgitation

"'I've barfed in four cities, every room of this damned place, the gym at the elementary school (we went to the sixth-grade production of Life's a Bitch, Charlie Brown), the supermarket, the post office, my doctor's office, the Target in Hastings, the Target in Northfield, the St. Olaf campus, Walgreens, the bakery, the car -- man, did I hear about that from Judith --'
'Judith?'
'-- the bed-and-breakfast my husband and I went to, the other bed-and-breakfast my husband and I went to, Applebee's, the truck stop, Bachman's, Hallmark, the Mall of America, the Burnsville mall--'"

Tall, Dark, and Not So Faery -- Mary Janice Davidson (Faeries Gone Wild)

He was getting sleepy. Very sleepy. And now his knee hurt.

"The pointed tips of her nipples stabbed his knee as her mouth rocked back and forth, making her big tits sway enticingly."

Long Hard Ride -- Lorelei James

Even his sperm sparkled

"He fed until his body climaxed, pouring his undead seed into her core."

Blood Calls -- Caridad Piñeiro

A weighty wiener can end any dispute. He had the Debate Team medal and restraining order to prove it.

"Quite sufficient, his heavy cock argued persuasively."

The Reiver -- Jackie Barbosa, Kimberly Killion

You just gotta ignite the light and let it shine. Just own the night like the 4th of July.

"He urged her higher and higher until pleasure exploded through her like the flash and explosion of fireworks."

To Have The Doctor's Baby -- Teresa Southwick