Uncle Walter's Bad Romance Novel Quotes

What is the standard rating for a white boned corset? The appropriate length for a red-blooded man's desire? Is sky-high a valid measurement?

"The corset was white, and made of satin and lace. Boned at the front, no doubt, the kind of exotic, erotic contraption which pushed the breasts up and together, and gave any woman wearer a shape so feminine and desirable that just looking at her was enough to send any red-blooded man's desire meter sky-high."

The Virgin Bride -- Miranda Lee

UW Note: I find this rating system highly suspect.

Always attach the alligator clamp of the antistatic wrist strap to his nipples ahead of time

"Her nails combed through his wiry hair with electrifying results."

Forbidden Merger -- Emilie Rose

"My honorary vagina is itchy." -- How topical!

"His tongue dove in and out of her mouth, mimicking mating and Marisa's legs grew together in an attempt to quell the burning between her thighs."

Project Exorcism -- Mandy M. Roth

No one at Disney World could draw a caricature like she could!

"'I want to do you,' she whispered."

Dark Lover -- J.R. Ward

It was like nails on a chalkboard.

"His free hand cupped her hip, his thumb sliding across the bone, his fingernail scraping just a little because when he did that she arched, pressing her breasts with those fantastic marble nipples into his chest and shifting -- back and forth, back and forth -- until the rasp nearly made him insane."

Marked By the Moon -- Lori Handeland

After devouring a small mammal it liked to curl up in her warm, dark lady cave.

"Freeing his enormous cock from his jeans, he gave it room to stretch and bob like a hungry python seeking a meal."

Cowboy Heat -- Sable Hunter

No pressure or anything. Just, you know, while you're down there and all.

"He hadn't told her to suck his cock, but her face hovered over his crotch."

A Taste of Twilight -- Aubrey Ross

It gives even field-hardened terrorism experts the willies!

"He pummeled his aching cock into the soft, silky depths of her convulsing pussy, growling as she shuddered and came, spasming around him with a grip that was so fucking tight, he thought his cock was going to explode inside of her."

Firewalkers: Dreamer -- Shiloh Walker

Over exuberant trampoline acrobatics are fraught with peril!

"Morgan's thighs opened as he continued his kiss, sending her entire body spiraling down into their mattress and then back up to the height of the sky, and then he was splitting her with such a painful motion, Morgan stiffened everywhere as he thrust partway into her."

Lady of the Knight -- Jackie Ivie

When he said "don't touch me, I'm a real live wire," she thought he was being cute.

"She shimmered with the excitement, shivered from the power, shook from the pleasure, and held on for dear life."

Love In Bloom -- Karen Rose Smith