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Uncle Walter,

You are a horrible person. I found your blog through a friend who shares my opinion. You are the worst kind of person. You degrade someone else without giving them any help or suggestion on how to make what they do better. And worse, you do this on a public forum. Simply put, you are a coward. I am positive you have tried to write and failed. How many rejection letters did you receive before you decided to use Wordpress to exact your revenge? Ten? Twenty? Fifty? One hundred? You’re using your crushed ego as an excuse to make other people feel bad. If you haven’t attempted to write anything of significance than you are worse than a coward, you are a hypocrite.

You have no problem putting authors in your laughing stocks yet you tell us nothing about yourself. I searched your site and I couldn’t find any personal reference. I know you aren’t really “Uncle Walter”. You are probably some overweight pathetic excuse for a human. You shrug your shoulders and say, “I’m being honest. If they don’t like it they can go fuck themselves.” You aren’t being honest, you’re lying to yourself. It doesn’t take a minor in psychology to see that you are so full of self-loathing and self-hate that you have to project your nastiness onto other people. You refuse to see that deep down you are a scared little person hiding behind your insults and anonymity. Guess what, these authors have more guts than you’ll ever have. They put themselves out there. They don’t write a blog featuring quotes written by other people. They use their brain to create their own story. Then they have the courage to let the world read what they’ve created. They know some people will hate what they’ve written. They probably expect people like you to criticize what they’ve done. They know that not everyone will love their baby as much as they do. When have you ever done anything that honorable? Never? I’m not surprised. I pity you Uncle Walter, I really do. You live in a negative world with no hope of getting out because you’ve chosen to stay there.

I know you will delete this comment. I wouldn’t expect anything else from you. You are a coward and cowards can’t stand to be told the truth. I hope you’re suicidal. And I hope you’re off your meds when you read this. I hope you take a pair of sewing shears and cut your own heart out. Your death would only improve the landscape of humanity.

Kelly Peterson

PS That is my real name and real email address. I, unlike you, have the stones to own what I say.

So are movie critics horrible, cowardly people and failures in life when they mock bad movies? (Roger Ebert alone is one of the meanest ones out there. He's known for being venomous toward movies he hates.) Are the MST3K/RiffTrax guys horrible, cowardly failures when they make their living trashing bad movies and TV shows? Are fans of comic books, novels, video games, and music the worst of humanity when they poke fun at the dregs of their genre?

Short answer: NO. You don't have to be a professional to know when something's bad, when it's ridiculous, and when it lends itself to parody and mockery. If something's truly bad or outrageous for all the wrong reasons, the consumer has every right to make fun of it. You might as well attack That Guy With the Glasses or The Spoony Experiment while you're at it. The only one being a horrible, cowardly creep here is you. You're coming to a site with the intention of causing trouble and insulting the owners (complete with death threats, no less) just to sate your own gargantuan ego. This has nothing to do with protecting the authors or whatever other excuse you try to throw up. This is about playing dragonslayer and patting yourself on the back. Sorry, but you're the bad guy here, and you're too arrogant to realize it. You're no better than the psychotic Superman fans who made death threats to Brandon Routh for not being Tom Welling.

In other words, you will shut your mouth and you will keep it shut. You have offered nothing whatsoever of value, and you clearly are incapable of offering anything of value. So get lost.

Though we're writing up a post, I just wanted to add an FYI: Uncle Walter is a twice published non-fiction author. His only two submissions have been accepted and he has yet to receive a rejection letter.

That's all for now. :)

Holy fuck. That was the best fucking comment ever. I had to read it out loud to the writer sitting next to me. He loves it. Beautiful.

Oh, and you want help and suggestion? In the last sentence, if you turn the "rippling" to "shuddering" you'll complete the allitteration.

Hey, you've got to cut the chick a break. She can't even spell her own name properly!

OMG. There are so many crazy people out there. Geesh, I'm a published author (in Spanish) and I love this blog. I find it educative and helpful, kind of "this is what you must NOT do with your own writing." And even if a piece of my work appeared here, I'd take it as a genuine critique, and learn from it.

But, Gissel, that's because you're not out of your gourd.

Do they sound to anyone else like a bad writer not taking the criticism on this site very well?

They seem really ass-pained, maybe you should put up an add for some Prep-h.

Also, where did they look for info on UW? It sounds like they looked through here. I would think it obvious that this site dedicated to romance quotes wouldn't have personal info on it, you have other places for that.

Like, P.S. they sound like a Twatlight fan.

It definitely sounds like a frustrated writer. Someone projecting their own rejections and fears. The reality is, if someone writes this way, they should expect people to comment on it. If it's not on a site like this, it's in review sites or on Amazon. When the writing is THIS bad, it's a guarantee that it's being made fun of -- it's just a matter of where.

There isn't any info on UW here, but his identity has never been a particularly well-guarded secret. I can't imagine it would be difficult for anyone of average intelligence, who put forth even the remotest of efforts, to figure out. I'm assuming she just didn't see an "about me" tab and didn't know what to do from there or where to go to look further.

She's someone we've mocked mercilessly.
Wish we knew who they were for real, we could mock her even MORE.
The butt hurt is epic, the agony is visceral.

Wonder how much she costs for the night.

Perfect...just perfect. I love people who've had an irony bypass. You've made it guys!!

Particularly loved your comment Gissel, especially the fact that you've been published in Spanish. Does that count ;-)

Keep up the great work. Love all the notes of support here!!!! We're all BIG fans!!!!

Oh no she di'int! Seriously, when something offends me, like a blog for instance, I just don't go there anymore. Sort of like the off switch on the TV or radio.
Great response Uncle Walter and for the record, I love you and The Wife xxx

I have to add that I did read Catching Caroline and it was not a very good short story. I'm a fan of Sylvia Day and it felt like someone else had written it. Very disappointing.

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