Uncle Walter's Bad Romance Novel Quotes

Abalone -- You're just being shellfish

"The sight of him caused Jane's pulse to speed up and her stomach to lurch.

Kind of like scallops. She was allergic to scallops."

Dance of the Plain Jane -- Lillian Feisty from Seasons of Seduction Vol. 1

Ut quod nos dico meus per ullus alius nomen would nidor ut dulcis

"He had a sudden urge to tell her how sweet her rosy nether lips smelled."

Her Lance-Alot -- Delilah Devlin from Seasons of Seduction Vol. 1

Chapstick (tm) makes my vulva cry -- I think it's some sort of allergy

"Luc swiped his tongue over his lips and all her intimate flesh quivered and wept. 'Fuck, I love strawberries.'"

Come Howling -- Denise Rossetti from Seasons of Seduction Vol. 1

The... um... at night are big and bright deep in the heart of... um...

"Daringly she eased her fingers into the warm place between his cheeks and wriggled her finger until she found his anal star."

Club Vamp -- Allyson James (Ellora's Cavemen Seasons of Seduction Vol. 1) 

I, for one, am not just going to wait around to be swallowed by a giant vagina!

"He took his erection in his hand, but instead of driving into her, filling the emptiness gnawing at her, he glided the scorching head, flowing with his own arousal, through the engorged lips of her sex until he reached her slit. Her flesh fluttered around what it could reach of his hardness, as if trying to grab onto him, drag him inside her."

The Illegitimate King -- Olivia Gates

Tsunami!

"Desire swamped her in a yearning, irresistible wave."

The Blackmail Bargain -- Robyn Donald

They were always after her lucky charms!

"But he resolved to let this passionate leprechaun do as she wished."

Seduction by the book -- Linda Conrad

Sometimes you have to fill it up with whipped cream just to get some privacy

"'Get you into bed,' he said promptly.  'Without that stupid giraffe watching our every move.'"

The Jet-Set Seduction -- Sandra Field

It was a bad decision to use KY Jelly Desiccant Personal Lubricant

"He shuddered uncontrollably for what seemed like hours, but was probably only for a few minutes, his hips pumping every drop of moisture from his body."

Mendez's Mistress -- Anne Mather

It's wabbit season!

"That sound, keenly feminine, acutely evocative, caught and focused Vane's attention. Focused every hunter's instinct."

A Rake's Vow -- Stephanie Laurens