Uncle Walter's Bad Romance Novel Quotes

Her cinnamon bun cums with extra frosting

"She reveled in his devouring, feeling scrumptious and sticky delicious."

One Night of Sin -- Gaelen Foley

She was NOT going to play "sausage and carburetor" again tonight, damnit.

"And she became sick and tired of conforming to Eric's ideas of what was edible and what was not."

Beverly Center -- Ryan Woodward

Dear lord, what IS THAT THING?

"Her eyes skimmed the pouchlike protrusion at his groin, then returned there again and again.  Something was amiss."

Marrying Miss Shylo -- Sharon Ihle

Uh... honey? Are you done YET?

"Had he been there all the time? Good gracious, how long did these things take?"

Jared's Runaway Woman -- Judith Stacy

I know Uncle Walter. I've had Uncle Walter. You, sir, are no Uncle Walter.

"Ian tensed above her a moment later, gave a low groan, and made her gasp anew as his masculine seed flooded her with its potent warmth.  She struggled to regain control of her breathing, her arms falling away from his shoulders while she closed her eyes again.
It had all happened with such tempestuous haste; scarcely fifteen minutes had passed since he had carried her upstairs."

Wild Texas Rose -- Catherine Creel

Mrs. Dash and Uncle Ben sure knew how to shake and bake

"Like seasoned partners in a primitive pagan ritual, they moved around each other; exciting, soothing, teasing, building slowly to the final mating ceremony, which they performed with a restrained, sensual deliberation, heightening every fragmented awareness of sliding together, becoming one, again and again and again until they could not bear the control any longer, their need exploding into a barbaric wildness that left them both exhausted and totally sated."

Always Love -- Emma Darcy

Unfortunately it was just a small soldier, and quickly at ease

"His shaft sprang to attention with the quickness of a private saluting a general, snuggling its eager head against the graceful curve of her lower back."

The Accidental Mistress -- Tracy Anne Warren

Then, taking in a deep breath, he blew out all the candles. It was going to be a good birthday

"Take me like a two-bit gigolo! Ride me like a rented mule! Bitch slap me as you've never bitch slapped before!"

Me and My Shadow -- Katie MacAlister

Those eyes, that hair, that figure... He's gorgeous!!!

"Lumpen, hair like wet string, clumpy shoes, old school mac out of which loomed a stomach as big as the Millennium Dome!"

The Mediterranean Billionaire's Secret Baby -- Diana Hamilton

At the current exchange rate, her pubes are worth about $.39. What a bargain!

"The nipples of her swollen breasts contracted almost painfully as his smoldering scrutiny raked her body from head to toe, hesitating briefly at the soft triangle of burnished-copper curls at the junction of her thighs."

For a view of this cover, click here. 

Beneath a Crimson Moon -- Christine Michels