Uncle Walter's Bad Romance Novel Quotes

He just had to hold off until he finished mopping the floor

"Dominick was trying to name the U.S. presidents in order, count backwards from one hundred by multiples of nine - anything to distract his mind and body long enough to delay the orgasm building in his balls."

No Peeking -- Stephanie Bond

Then why is the mop shaped like a dildo?

"'All you have to do with it is wash the floor, Miles,' I said. 'You don't have to fuck it.'"

Loving Women -- Pete Hamill

He took his Mad Libs VERY seriously

"'You've got the wrong noun,' he growled back."

Intimate Strangers -- Brooke Hastings

But she wasn't REALLY sorry. Secretly she railed against the fates of MASH.

"I'm sorry that I seem to have destroyed your splendid lean-to."

This Fierce Splendor -- Iris Johansen

He roped her in with his bungee cord of love

"'Here,' he said, and stretched it out towards her.
'Grab this.'  She did so.

The Guardian's Forbidden Mistress -- Miranda Lee

She never should have accepted that date with the Dementor. Damn eHarmony!

"And, leaning forward, he took her mouth in a slow, lingering kiss that seemed to draw her soul right out of her body and into his hands, to do with as he wanted."

At the Sheikh's Command -- Kate Walker

Oh, the Council was impressed, of course. Could he bring balance to the Force?

"Concentrating all his energy and will on the object of his desire, he let the force build inside his brain, let the power surge and fall, higher and lower, expanding like ocean waves in his head until the thought of making the key move dominated his body, igniting every muscle, fiber, and cell to do his bidding..."

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White Lily -- Linda Ladd

Particle man, particle man, doing the things a particle can

"But instead of oxygen the air she breathed was filled with the scent of him, the testosterone-laden notes intoxicating, compelling, compounding the experience until he was everywhere -- inside her, around her, in the air she breathed."

The Italian Boss's Mistress of Revenge -- Trish Morey

The suspense is killing me! What happens next?

"Then her internal muscles, clasping and releasing him in that way women's bodies did when they were well on their way to orgasm."

The Ruthless Marriage Proposal -- Miranda Lee

We walked in the garden, we planted a tree

"Christian's manroot jumped against her thigh and she imagined it a velvet-tipped iron spear. He would render her vulnerable, she would yield, then he would conquer her with his formidable weapon!"

Desired -- Virginia Henley