Uncle Walter's Bad Romance Novel Quotes

Zombification through nuclear meltdown

"She had the feeling an electric current would sizzle her brain and her body would proceed on its own merry way to meltdown." 

The Marriage Decider -- Emma Darcy 

So try not to fall asleep

"'I've waited a long time for this,' he whispered huskily, 'and, I want you to be aware and responsive while I'm making love to you.'"

Wedding Fever -- Lee Wilkinson

She had the perfect resume for Nike's head assassin

"'Quick wits and a lethal pair of shoes,' he said." 

To Wed a Scandalous Spy -- Celeste Bradley 

Oscar Mayer has a way with... Naugahyde?

"With a noise reminiscent of hot baloney peeling off Naugahyde, my skin separated from his, and I toppled over backward." 

Men in Kilts -- Katie MacAlister 

Not to put too fine a point on it, say I'm the only bee in your bonnet...

"Desire flowered in her loins, sang like a bird in her soul." 

Superstitions -- Annie McKnight 

Passion fruit my ass

"When he parted the silken curtain and took her boldly to suckle, she exploded, instantaneously, powerfully, completely, her hips rising high off the bed, her buttocks cushioned in his strong hands, his fingers squeezing them as though they were fruits, ripe with sweet juices."

Pirates -- Linda Lael Miller 

Love sprouts eternal

"As Amber pulled out of me, his fat mushroom head bumping and grinding along my responsive inner tissues, making me catch my breath, I started with my other hand at Beldar's base, pulling slowly, tightly, up his root as my other thumb swirled over his weeping crown, rubbing over his sensitive tip, anointing him with his own essence."  

Mona Lisa Three by Sunny
Reader submission by  earthaid3
Uncle Walter is not responsible for the accuracy of reader submissions.  In other words, if it's wrong, it ain't his fault!

Over the Moon -- A compilation

Next week on Naked American Gladiator: Unchained Edition

"She deliberately taunted until that less-than-civilized male shook free of the shackles he'd set, and roared forth to do sensual battle with her..."

A Fine Passion -- Stephanie Laurens 

Things not to shove in my muff for $1000, Alex

"'A badger,' she murmured to herself."

To Wed a Scandalous Spy -- Celeste Bradley

And after that, you fit me like a glove

"I had this hand inside a horse the other day."

Beauty and the Spy -- Julie Anne Long