Uncle Walter's Bad Romance Novel Quotes

Trojan® Bib and Burp Cloths - Keep your little man clean on and off the job

"Pre cum was dribbling from the tip, dripping onto the floor."

Sex Stalker -- Darren G. Burton

When you can't get the good one, get the bad one. When you can't get the bad one, get the blob fish.

"Now, this was a seriously dangerous thing, and before he could even complete that thought he felt her slide the clothing off his body and turn like a slippery sea creature under him till she was on top."

Hysterical Blondness -- Suzanne Macpherson

Thank God he took out all his intestinal tinder before they began!

"Each time Matt thrust into him, Vic felt as if his lover's thick cock struck sparks off his tender prostate."

Parking Lot Hero -- J.M. Snyder

P.S. Link is not for this title, but another book by this author.

Happiness can only be exemplified with a leathery, herbivorous, semi-aquatic mammal

"Our magical, culturally meaningless evening looms before me like a sweet hippopotamus of joy."

Undead and Unpopular -- Mary Janice Davidson

We gonna make some cooch chili or what?

"Her female places went molten—she swore there was lava down there."

Double Trouble -- Allyson James

She was so hot for him that she could reheat chili in her cooch. Mm... Cooch Chili...

"He wasted no time in shedding her sexy lingerie on the carpet and lowering his mouth to feast on her delectable twat. He ate her out voraciously, like he was starved to drink her delicious nectar."

Bridget's Boy Toy -- Elain Shuel

I swear to God you could drown a toddler in my panties right now. I mean... not that you would

"Her juices spilled from her vagina, gathered on the folds of her pussy and tormented her clit with the moisture."

Dawn's Awakening -- Lora Leigh

Wow, that chick has her work cut out for her!

"Sweat tickled his stomach, pooling with his leftover come in his navel." 

P.S. Click the link.

Acquired Taste (or maybe Icing on the Cake) -- Shayla Kersten

The hazards of having an untrimmed bush: Hair clogs. Luckily he has a snake.

"Slowly, for fear of hurting her, he took his thrust slowly, teasing her with small plunges."

Meant to Be -- Denise A. Agnew

Then he shoved her nose into the bed and whapped her with a rolled up newspaper.

"Pleasure entwined with that undeniable urge until finally, as he'd known she would -- and as she'd known it, as well -- she wet the bed like an untrained pet, leaving the fragrant stain in the center and then coming."

California King -- Jesse Nelson (Naughty Stories From A to Z, Volume 2)