Uncle Walter's Bad Romance Novel Quotes

This is the gulag Vagra Pussthe. There is no stockade, no guard tower. Only a magnetic shield prevents beaming.

"He locked eyes with her, and felt an almost electric jolt of desire that sent his cock twitching inside its fleshy prison."

The Aliens -- Scott Allen (Sizzling Stories of Sci-Fi Sex)

Ouch my eyes! It's like being shot in the eyes by a glitter gun!

"He did not know what, only that he exploded with an orgasm so powerful his back arched, his muscles swelling, contracting, a roped ripple that made him go blind with pleasure."

Tiger Eye -- Marjorie M. Liu

"Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!"

"Each rocking motion of the boat conspired to drive him deeper into her tight moist cunt until he felt it. A barrier."

In His Own Defense -- Ann Jacobs

Do my kisses burn? Do they take your breath? You've got a lesson to learn now... I'm the kiss of death!

"Her body clenched around him, then quaked as her orgasm slammed into her, ripping through her aching heart, flaying her wounded soul until nothing was left but the honesty of the moment." 

My Christmas Wish -- Ember Case

Myogenic muscular organs hurled past and ovum-producing shrapnel rained from the sky

"Bloody hearts cannonballed past, there was a storm of ovaries."

The Ugly Cock Dance -- Mary Gaitskill (Wet: More Aqua Erotica)

Catapultum haberunt nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam!

"His kiss was the charge of a Spartan general, phalanx of lips, teeth and tongue ramming my resistance, spearing hot into my defenses."

The Bite of Silence -- Mary Hughes

Role playing was one thing, but that horned helmet hurt like hell!

"Jutting arrogantly from the golden crop of hair was an up-tilted angry-looking erection to make any Viking plunderer proud."

Blow (Oral Fixation) -- Hanna Lui

'Cause who doesn't like a pile of loot? This is my life as a Viking wife.

"Just as Kinji felt her orgasmic high decreasing, Edwin put his thick and long curved penis inside, putting wonderful pressure on her G-Spot. Kinji couldn't breath, the orgasm ransacking her body."

Inconvenient Love -- Elizabeth LaShaun

When he says "no" he means "NO" -- Touch him and you're dead.

"The rush rampaged through his body, soared up his legs, bolted down his spine to detonate  his balls."

Saying Yes -- Barbara Elsborg

If only she'd remembered the difference between an IED and an IUD before her yearly exam.

"Lyric's clit felt like it was going to explode as she pumped against his erection."

Lyric's Cop -- Jory Strong