Uncle Walter's Bad Romance Novel Quotes

I don't have time for this. I can't wait if your wiener is pulling a scared turtle.

“A little thing like that’s not much use to anybody. It’s a wonder you can even pee with it.”

The Ripening Time -- Catherine MacLeod

This is the gulag Vagra Pussthe. There is no stockade, no guard tower. Only a magnetic shield prevents beaming.

"He locked eyes with her, and felt an almost electric jolt of desire that sent his cock twitching inside its fleshy prison."

The Aliens -- Scott Allen (Sizzling Stories of Sci-Fi Sex)

Ouch my eyes! It's like being shot in the eyes by a glitter gun!

"He did not know what, only that he exploded with an orgasm so powerful his back arched, his muscles swelling, contracting, a roped ripple that made him go blind with pleasure."

Tiger Eye -- Marjorie M. Liu

Over two hundred reports of ear sex have been confirmed so far, prompting a new slogan, "Once you go Black, you go deaf."

"He filled her like no man ever had."

Bound for the Holidays: Ties That Bind, book 1 -- Mackenzie McKade

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"Chris rolled over on the towel and leaned his head on his hand, 'My darling, I think you have just graduated from soccer mom to MILF!'"

Confessions of a Slut Wife -- Laura B. Cooper

We gonna make some cooch chili or what?

"Her female places went molten—she swore there was lava down there."

Double Trouble -- Allyson James

"Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!"

"Each rocking motion of the boat conspired to drive him deeper into her tight moist cunt until he felt it. A barrier."

In His Own Defense -- Ann Jacobs

She was so hot for him that she could reheat chili in her cooch. Mm... Cooch Chili...

"He wasted no time in shedding her sexy lingerie on the carpet and lowering his mouth to feast on her delectable twat. He ate her out voraciously, like he was starved to drink her delicious nectar."

Bridget's Boy Toy -- Elain Shuel

I swear to God you could drown a toddler in my panties right now. I mean... not that you would

"Her juices spilled from her vagina, gathered on the folds of her pussy and tormented her clit with the moisture."

Dawn's Awakening -- Lora Leigh

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"'Or maybe,' he continued, his gaze fixed on Hunter, his mouth grim, 'maybe you want your own mouthful of man juice.'"

Going All In -- Jess Dee