Uncle Walter's Bad Romance Novel Quotes

She was so hot for him that she could reheat chili in her cooch. Mm... Cooch Chili...

"He wasted no time in shedding her sexy lingerie on the carpet and lowering his mouth to feast on her delectable twat. He ate her out voraciously, like he was starved to drink her delicious nectar."

Bridget's Boy Toy -- Elain Shuel

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"'Or maybe,' he continued, his gaze fixed on Hunter, his mouth grim, 'maybe you want your own mouthful of man juice.'"

Going All In -- Jess Dee

Unless this was written by a 15 month old nursling, someone's got some issues.

"Heavy with milk and ripe for suckling, her tantalizing nipples, with their dusky aureoles, stood proud and mouth-watering."

Undeniable Rogue -- Annette Blair

P.S. The sexualization of breastfeeding leads to higher rates of formula use and a steady reduction in the overall health and physical well being of children in our society. Uncle Walter & The Wife support breastfeeding rights and encourage all women to feed their children in this most natural and beneficial of ways.

Clagnar's Human Rinds! It's a buncha muncha cruncha human!

"His mouth is in my cunt, all open and fresh for munching."

Simply Seduced -- Wickham Boyle (Seductions: Tales of Erotic Persuasion)

But getting the ground tiger penis into the Baby Bottle Pop® was proving problematic.

"She heard a slurp and a pop, and she imagined him licking her juices off his finger."

Chemistry to Burn -- Lacey Savage (Feral Heat)

Fierce competition has forced direct sales representatives to be more creative with their in-home sales presentations.

"He couldn’t believe this powerful suitcase- looking contraption had attachments that pounded her pussy or ass. One even fucked both holes at the same time. He sat and watched the dildos thrust inside her hot cunt and tight asshole incessantly, when she used that affixation.
'Nothing like double penetration,' Bridget screamed out as two of her holes were being satisfied. Then she motioned for Glenn to fill up the third.
'Stick your dick in my mouth,' she panted. He obeyed. She sucked his cock fast and furiously with her steadily increasing utterances of pleasure. She climaxed profusely, her juices covering the dildo. Glenn's sperm filled up her mouth and then his prick went flaccid. She adjusted the remote control to whatever speed suited her until she was spent from her massive efflux of cum. He was amazed at the 268 strokes per minute it achieved when she had it maxed."

Bridget's Boy Toy -- Elaine Shuel 

P.S. 4.466 strokes per second. Per. Second.

Wow, that chick has her work cut out for her!

"Sweat tickled his stomach, pooling with his leftover come in his navel." 

P.S. Click the link.

Acquired Taste (or maybe Icing on the Cake) -- Shayla Kersten

Wrong head.

"He was so long and so hard, it was difficult to manage, but she craved blowing his mind."

Fierce Dawn -- Amber Scott

Unfortunately he was more interested in her "boy toy"

"The fire in his eyes and the way he licked his lips didn’t suggest obligation. They hinted at hunger. And she was the Happy Meal."

That Voodoo You Do -- Jodi Redford

Lumberjack Lactivists hold Nurse-In and Log-Roll on the steps of the Capitol Building

"With his broad shoulders, long muscled legs, and big, uh, nipples, he could have been a lumberjack slumming in the state capital."

Undead and Unpopular -- Mary Janice Davidson