Uncle Walter's Bad Romance Novel Quotes

Old Ben Franklin sure was glad he had his skeleton key ampallang!

"He tried to be gentle, to give her that much courtesy, but she surprised him by leaning into his body, opening her mouth for an even deeper kiss that sent ribbons of lightning through his flesh."

Tiger Eye -- Marjorie M. Liu

Okay, Weaver, listen carefully. You can hold on to your red snapper or you can go for what's in the box!

"She had what his father used to call 'a snapper'. She had control over that pussy."

Fuckstrated -- Junnita Jackson

Fortunately she had a twat the size of Alaska to accommodate him.

"If it hadn't been for the backlit flames in his eyes or the uneven breathing, she probably would have been ticked, but Mr. I Feel Nothing had a hard-on bigger than Texas."

Just Let Go -- Kathleen O'Reilly

Wait, is this anything like a werewolf, on rollerblades, juggling bowling pins?

"Sheila gasped as the entire monster slide inside her and soon she was bucking and rearing like a bitch in heat riding the horse of her life."

Four Can Play That Game -- Denise Smith

P.S. That's their typo, not ours.

He had just the humanoid-vegetative-phallus she was looking for.

"Her blood was on fire, her breasts tingling with anticipation, her belly taut with lust, her woman's center aching to be filled with her lover's manroot."

 A Woman of Passion -- Virginia Henley

This is the gulag Vagra Pussthe. There is no stockade, no guard tower. Only a magnetic shield prevents beaming.

"He locked eyes with her, and felt an almost electric jolt of desire that sent his cock twitching inside its fleshy prison."

The Aliens -- Scott Allen (Sizzling Stories of Sci-Fi Sex)

Thank God he took out all his intestinal tinder before they began!

"Each time Matt thrust into him, Vic felt as if his lover's thick cock struck sparks off his tender prostate."

Parking Lot Hero -- J.M. Snyder

P.S. Link is not for this title, but another book by this author.

His dick wick was saturated in her love gas and the friction caused a burn

"Resa rose onto her knees and rubbed the head against her wet sex, creating a burn that ran down his length into his balls and spread like wildfire throughout his body."

An Unwanted Hunger -- Ciana Stone

If they have to tell you it's in? Then it's not in.

 "It was fantastic. Mind-blowing. You're a great lover, Ryan. Your cock is so big and hard. You got me so fucking wet just now. It almost felt like you were really fucking me."

Sex Stalker -- Darren G. Burton

Over two hundred reports of ear sex have been confirmed so far, prompting a new slogan, "Once you go Black, you go deaf."

"He filled her like no man ever had."

Bound for the Holidays: Ties That Bind, book 1 -- Mackenzie McKade