Uncle Walter's Bad Romance Novel Quotes

She was flocking it. It's called a Sno Blower.

"She's probably been the easiest lay of his life, screaming like a banshee and coming more than... More than Santa Claus in the damn song."

More Naughty Than Nice -- Julie Kistler

Old Ben Franklin sure was glad he had his skeleton key ampallang!

"He tried to be gentle, to give her that much courtesy, but she surprised him by leaning into his body, opening her mouth for an even deeper kiss that sent ribbons of lightning through his flesh."

Tiger Eye -- Marjorie M. Liu

Okay, Weaver, listen carefully. You can hold on to your red snapper or you can go for what's in the box!

"She had what his father used to call 'a snapper'. She had control over that pussy."

Fuckstrated -- Junnita Jackson

When you can't get the good one, get the bad one. When you can't get the bad one, get the blob fish.

"Now, this was a seriously dangerous thing, and before he could even complete that thought he felt her slide the clothing off his body and turn like a slippery sea creature under him till she was on top."

Hysterical Blondness -- Suzanne Macpherson

He had just the humanoid-vegetative-phallus she was looking for.

"Her blood was on fire, her breasts tingling with anticipation, her belly taut with lust, her woman's center aching to be filled with her lover's manroot."

 A Woman of Passion -- Virginia Henley

Ouch my eyes! It's like being shot in the eyes by a glitter gun!

"He did not know what, only that he exploded with an orgasm so powerful his back arched, his muscles swelling, contracting, a roped ripple that made him go blind with pleasure."

Tiger Eye -- Marjorie M. Liu

Thank God he took out all his intestinal tinder before they began!

"Each time Matt thrust into him, Vic felt as if his lover's thick cock struck sparks off his tender prostate."

Parking Lot Hero -- J.M. Snyder

P.S. Link is not for this title, but another book by this author.

His dick wick was saturated in her love gas and the friction caused a burn

"Resa rose onto her knees and rubbed the head against her wet sex, creating a burn that ran down his length into his balls and spread like wildfire throughout his body."

An Unwanted Hunger -- Ciana Stone

If they have to tell you it's in? Then it's not in.

 "It was fantastic. Mind-blowing. You're a great lover, Ryan. Your cock is so big and hard. You got me so fucking wet just now. It almost felt like you were really fucking me."

Sex Stalker -- Darren G. Burton

Over two hundred reports of ear sex have been confirmed so far, prompting a new slogan, "Once you go Black, you go deaf."

"He filled her like no man ever had."

Bound for the Holidays: Ties That Bind, book 1 -- Mackenzie McKade