Uncle Walter's Bad Romance Novel Quotes

I hope you've got a big appetite because I have lived a LONG life, and I have seen a *few* things.

"Her lust made her the furthest thing from herself and the closest thing to her sex; she spoke with the voracious mouth of her pussy."

Triple Xmas -- Valerie Martinez (Naughty, Naughty)

Is this another one where he's climbing up inside her vag? Can we just... not?

"'Baby, don't stop, you feel so good.' He continued until he reached the gates of heaven.
With the first stroke of his tongue, my entire body shivered. He continued, leaving me yearning for more. Before I could even catch my breath, I felt the tip of his head gently making its way inside me. I moaned in pain, but it was an intoxicating pain."

Ride Wit' Me -- Katina King

When in the throes of pleasure, one calls out to the deity of their choice. Or that deity's testicles, as the case may be.

"'I've wanted you longer than you know' -- she guided him to her, thrusting her hips until he swore and began to push inside her -- 'and now I'm of a mind to show you how much.'
And she did, seeking his lips, then sighing contentedly when he slanted his mouth over hers, kissing her fiercely. He reached down between them, stroking and rubbing her as he finally thrust deep.
'Odin's Balls!'"

Sins of a Highland Devil -- Sue-Ellen Welfonder 

Frigid spunk in her abyss? It must be another experiment!

"Beneath her hands, his back bowed, and his sex was deep, deep inside her. Cold. His ejaculate felt cold."

A Darker Crimson -- Carolyn Jewel 

Then he played the fiddle and blamed it on the Christians.

"The Roman's lips found hers. He probed at the soft barrier of her mouth, teasing her lips to part. When they finally did and his tongue met hers, fire exploded within Rhianna, vibrating through her in splintering bursts until it reached the core of her womanhood. The pure, carnal intimacy of his mouth, of his naked body pressed so hotly, so possessively against hers, banished the lingering mists of Rhianna's fears."

Enchant the Heavens -- Kathleen Morgan

Then it started raining and she gave thanks. The gods were listening!

"Kelsey curved against him, parting her lips for the ritual dance of his tongue with hers."

Rainbow Fire -- Emilie Richards

Every sperm is sacred, every sperm is great. If a sperm is wasted, God gets quite irate.

"His thatch of hair was thick, his balls huge and warm with potential."

Lady Starling's Stockings -- Cerise DeLand

"If you can hear me, head for Meg's butt!"

"This is what heaven is, was the last thought she had before she shattered. White light burst behind her eyelids, pleasure rippled through every nerve ending in her body. Somewhere in the distance she heard a voice crying out."

Black Smoke -- Robin Leigh Miller

It may be a little while. Burger Bell doesn't open until tomorrow at 10.

“We will go find your cheeseburger, but when we get back to the room, I will take you with this bikini on."

Her Russian Billionaire -- Theodora Taylor

In honor of the Feast of Alvis there will be no post today

Instead remember what Alvistime is all about.  Drinking... Drinking and revenge.

"Now drink with me deeply of the bourbon, scotch, and rye until such time as we are fighting drunk." ~ Alvis
 

Episode 21 - Feast of Alvis from Jasmine H on Vimeo.