Uncle Walter's Bad Romance Novel Quotes

She was flocking it. It's called a Sno Blower.

"She's probably been the easiest lay of his life, screaming like a banshee and coming more than... More than Santa Claus in the damn song."

More Naughty Than Nice -- Julie Kistler

Everybody says you've got Great Balls of Fire

"Your nuts pull close to your body and expand into red hot bowling balls."

The Second Person -- Alessia Brio

And the woman's red glare saw sperm bursting in air! Proof in the night that the condom's not there!

"A howl ripped through him with the mind-blowing force of his release, and he watched helplessly as stream after scalding stream of his seed exploded over her quivering belly to drip on the bed."

Hanging by a Moment -- Susie Charles

Unfortunately it only knew "It's a Small World" -- so he had to kill it.

"Her pussy hummed beneath his heated examination and her juices began to flow between her legs."

Scorpion King -- Marianne LaCroix

'Cause who doesn't like a pile of loot? This is my life as a Viking wife.

"Just as Kinji felt her orgasmic high decreasing, Edwin put his thick and long curved penis inside, putting wonderful pressure on her G-Spot. Kinji couldn't breath, the orgasm ransacking her body."

Inconvenient Love -- Elizabeth LaShaun

Around, around, around, around... Over and under and through!

"She cried out as the climax swept through her with the violence of a riptide, first dragging her over and under in wave after wave of pleasure, then tossing her up and over in an airless peak."

Led Into Temptation -- Cara Summers

He should have asked to be a real man. Jiminy's probably laughing his ass off.

"She caught her breath as she unzipped him, and his hard wooden length jumped into her hands."

Bedeviled Angel -- Annette Blair

From the moment she answered "Playing the Squeezebox", Weird Al Yankovick's career path was set

"By the way, what do you girls call it? Jilling off? Tweaking the captain? Strumming the biscuit?"

Amateur Night -- Holden Granger

Do a deer, a female deer; Ray, a drop of golden cum....

"His secret to staving off the load that felt like it was pooling like lava somewhere between his asshole and his balls was in rhythm -- musical rhythm to be exact. He was pounding out a number one song, and if there was one thing he could do it was keep time to music."

Best Night Ever -- Keara Kevay

Can he tie them in a knot, can he tie them in a bow?

"His cock was as hard as steel and his balls hung heavy and low."

Alexandra's Legacy: Legacy Book 1 -- N.J. Walters