Uncle Walter's Bad Romance Novel Quotes

"You hear that Elizabeth? I'm coming to join you honey."

"It was so much more than a mere orgasm. He sounded like he was dying and happy with it."

Watch Over Me -- Lucy Monroe

Waiting for the apocalypse that never happened... and she'd prepared so well!

"The soft weight of the comforter settled over her head, cocconing her in a dim tent with only his rampant cock for company."

Dancing in the Dark -- Jennifer Dunne

The ancient art of Vaginal Origami had many and varied uses

"Even though he had prohibited himself from doing so tonight, his fingers slid down her feminine folds, instinctively seeking the channel that was meant to cradle him. "

Gateway to Heaven -- Beth Kery

She brought out the hoariness in all of us...

"Isabel stared at the other girl for a moment and felt something wild and primitive suddenly flame into being."

Tender Melody -- Vivian Grey

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. Call me Ishmael. It was a dark and stormy night. All opening lines that stick with you for good reason. This is not one of them.

"Jake watched Denn bring the long neck bottle of beer to his lips, lips he imagined every night wrapped around his cock, wet heat driving him wild."

Bourbon Affair -- Eliza Gayle

"When my groin is up against it and the whips are beating my balls -- cock, go out there with all you've got and cream just one for the zipper!"

"He looked down. His cock was hard as a rock, jutting upright, bobbing slightly in the air. It hadn’t gone down one bit. Obviously, it wasn’t listening to his pep talk."

A Kept Man -- Kerry Connor

Ed Gein was getting really creative with his patterns!

"I slide my hand gently under her and started to finger fuck her like she had me do a hundred times, at the same time she unzipped my thick throbbing hard cock and engulfed it with her hungry mouth."

The size of a stick of butter! -- Milo Monzetta

(The link is for a different book.)

Whoopie ti-yi-yo, strong, brave Magellan, you'll find the East Indies you just don't know where!

"Her lips parted beneath his gentle assault, and she could only yield to the delicious wonder of his exploring tongue."

Orchids in Moonlight -- Patricia Hagan

Adventurous? He's a Magellan in the bedroom!

"He showered her face and shoulders with hungry kisses, groaning with intense yearning as he frantically sought out new places to kiss."

Montana Magic -- René J. Garrod

"Life is a journey. Time is a river. The door is ajar." How zen.

"And then something blossomed deep within and opened almost like the multiple petals of a rose, pushing back the tension in rippling waves as they bloomed until she surrendered to relaxation with a soft exclamation of surprise."

Simply Magic -- Mary Balogh