Uncle Walter's Bad Romance Novel Quotes

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"Pre cum was dribbling from the tip, dripping onto the floor."

Sex Stalker -- Darren G. Burton

Okay, Weaver, listen carefully. You can hold on to your red snapper or you can go for what's in the box!

"She had what his father used to call 'a snapper'. She had control over that pussy."

Fuckstrated -- Junnita Jackson

Le L'aine du Cirque

"Her hormones were flipping like acrobats in the far recesses of her groin."

A Touch of Silk -- Lori Wilde

Wait, is this anything like a werewolf, on rollerblades, juggling bowling pins?

"Sheila gasped as the entire monster slide inside her and soon she was bucking and rearing like a bitch in heat riding the horse of her life."

Four Can Play That Game -- Denise Smith

P.S. That's their typo, not ours.

This is the gulag Vagra Pussthe. There is no stockade, no guard tower. Only a magnetic shield prevents beaming.

"He locked eyes with her, and felt an almost electric jolt of desire that sent his cock twitching inside its fleshy prison."

The Aliens -- Scott Allen (Sizzling Stories of Sci-Fi Sex)

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"Chris rolled over on the towel and leaned his head on his hand, 'My darling, I think you have just graduated from soccer mom to MILF!'"

Confessions of a Slut Wife -- Laura B. Cooper

"Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!"

"Each rocking motion of the boat conspired to drive him deeper into her tight moist cunt until he felt it. A barrier."

In His Own Defense -- Ann Jacobs

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"'Or maybe,' he continued, his gaze fixed on Hunter, his mouth grim, 'maybe you want your own mouthful of man juice.'"

Going All In -- Jess Dee

Driven mad with excitement, Mr. Toad embarked on an uproarious journey toward nowhere in particular... and she was along for the ride.

"He took her on a wild ride, the thunder and excitement of their bodies oblivious to only themselves and the heat they generated. Sparks flew like embers from the Beltane fires. Wild and heady and headlong into a furious frenzy of desire."

A Knight to Remember -- Karin Tabke

Which is why all of those people try so hard to bring Sexy Time to the discount stores.

"Wal-Mart. Nothing remotely erotic about Wal-Mart, right? Not much erotic about Target or Kmart or a dozen other stores, either, but Wal-Mart was open 24-7!"

La Vida Vampire -- Nancy Haddock

P.S. Click the link in the caption. We dare you.