Uncle Walter's Bad Romance Novel Quotes

He had just the humanoid-vegetative-phallus she was looking for.

"Her blood was on fire, her breasts tingling with anticipation, her belly taut with lust, her woman's center aching to be filled with her lover's manroot."

 A Woman of Passion -- Virginia Henley

Thank God he took out all his intestinal tinder before they began!

"Each time Matt thrust into him, Vic felt as if his lover's thick cock struck sparks off his tender prostate."

Parking Lot Hero -- J.M. Snyder

P.S. Link is not for this title, but another book by this author.

Cock-a-doodle-dooooo!

"His manhood had awakened."

A Knight to Remember -- Karin Tabke

Lumberjack Lactivists hold Nurse-In and Log-Roll on the steps of the Capitol Building

"With his broad shoulders, long muscled legs, and big, uh, nipples, he could have been a lumberjack slumming in the state capital."

Undead and Unpopular -- Mary Janice Davidson

She had to wait a few hours to remove the dead bees from her vagina. She didn't want all that work to be for nothing!

"He murmered more words, like 'bee' and 'honey', but all she could think of was the honey that was already pooling in her crotch from the most erotic thing she had ever done."

Dance of the Seven Veils -- Cris Anson

The Original Vaginal Ranch Dipping Sauce - Makes everything taste better!

"He pressed harder and harder into her valley of softness, mindless with the mounting pleasure that was blinding him to reason, to time and place."

Eden's Promise -- Cassie Edwards

... well not really

He'd call once in a while. "Moooo!!" But she never went into the barn again, and left the farm soon after.

"His thumbs brushed across the lips of her sex, then dipped inside. Finding the hard point of her pleasure, he rubbed softly, massaging the cream-drenched skin that was taut with the effort to accommodate him. "Come for me, love." His tongue swirled along the shell of her ear and then dipped inside. "Milk me," he whispered, his voice dripping with sin. Spurred by his words, Caroline dug her nails in his shoulders and held on as rapture, sharp and searing, shattered her, shivering through her in rippling spasms."

Catching Caroline -- Sylvia Day

Nothing beats old-fashioned, homemade, sweet cream butter. Just like Mom and Dad used to make.

"He settled his cheek beside hers and stroked deep into her liquid heat. Surrounded by her creamy walls, he began to move, his body shuddering, already in the grip of his growing arousal.
Planting his knees in the mattress, he slipped his arms beneath her thighs and lifted her hips off the bed, churning, thrusting and circling his hips to tunnel deeper inside her sweet body."

Viper's Bite -- Delilah Devlin (The Mammoth Book of Vampire Romance)

Lower your petals and prepare to be assimilated.

"Cool, slick fingers teased the tight rosette at her ass. Marlena gasped but resistance was futile."

Fairy Dust -- Tielle St. Clare

He'd adjusted the HVAC to compensate for the extra BTUs from the friction generated during intercourse. *snort* Tree Huggers.

"The beauty of the scene that met Angela snatched her breath. Twinkling fairy lights blanketed the walls and ceiling around the white-shrouded bed, creating an ethereal space suspended between heaven and earth.
'LEDs,' Harry explained as he gently lowered her onto the white down-feather comforter. 'Light-emitting diodes. They consume a fraction of the energy of regular lights.'"

The Next Big Thing -- Madelle Morgan