Uncle Walter's Bad Romance Novel Quotes

She was flocking it. It's called a Sno Blower.

"She's probably been the easiest lay of his life, screaming like a banshee and coming more than... More than Santa Claus in the damn song."

More Naughty Than Nice -- Julie Kistler

Le L'aine du Cirque

"Her hormones were flipping like acrobats in the far recesses of her groin."

A Touch of Silk -- Lori Wilde

Wait, is this anything like a werewolf, on rollerblades, juggling bowling pins?

"Sheila gasped as the entire monster slide inside her and soon she was bucking and rearing like a bitch in heat riding the horse of her life."

Four Can Play That Game -- Denise Smith

P.S. That's their typo, not ours.

I swear to God you could drown a toddler in my panties right now. I mean... not that you would

"Her juices spilled from her vagina, gathered on the folds of her pussy and tormented her clit with the moisture."

Dawn's Awakening -- Lora Leigh

Driven mad with excitement, Mr. Toad embarked on an uproarious journey toward nowhere in particular... and she was along for the ride.

"He took her on a wild ride, the thunder and excitement of their bodies oblivious to only themselves and the heat they generated. Sparks flew like embers from the Beltane fires. Wild and heady and headlong into a furious frenzy of desire."

A Knight to Remember -- Karin Tabke

But it hadn't finished its homework yet.

"Aaron’s cock was on fire to get out of his pants and play."

What He Wants -- Eden Cole

P.S. Link is not for this title, but another book by this author.

And an uppercut of lust split his lip as he nursed third degree burns

"A fist of need slammed hard into his belly as she heated to a blaze in his arms."

On Thin Ice -- Eve Gaddy

A date with Baron Samedi always ended the same way: Sex, Death, or Resurrection. Sometimes all three.

"The sex god pushed his cock so deep into me that I thought it would penetrate all the way to the other side and out of my stomach."

The Magic Cock in Gay Heaven -- Nathan J. Morissey

Why you should never call it "screwing" to someone who used a "Sit 'N Spin" as a kid.

"She sank on him, taking him slowly inside her, circling to work her way down his length until at last she sat flush against his groin."

Arctic Dragon -- Delilah Devlin (Royal Bondage)

'Cause who doesn't like a pile of loot? This is my life as a Viking wife.

"Just as Kinji felt her orgasmic high decreasing, Edwin put his thick and long curved penis inside, putting wonderful pressure on her G-Spot. Kinji couldn't breath, the orgasm ransacking her body."

Inconvenient Love -- Elizabeth LaShaun