Uncle Walter's Bad Romance Novel Quotes

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"Pre cum was dribbling from the tip, dripping onto the floor."

Sex Stalker -- Darren G. Burton

Happiness can only be exemplified with a leathery, herbivorous, semi-aquatic mammal

"Our magical, culturally meaningless evening looms before me like a sweet hippopotamus of joy."

Undead and Unpopular -- Mary Janice Davidson

We gonna make some cooch chili or what?

"Her female places went molten—she swore there was lava down there."

Double Trouble -- Allyson James

"Lard Butt" or "Fanny Batter"? You decide.

"Today, she shimmied into a yellow skirt that cupped her butt like she'd sat in a tub of butter."

Overexposed -- Leslie Kelly

She was so hot for him that she could reheat chili in her cooch. Mm... Cooch Chili...

"He wasted no time in shedding her sexy lingerie on the carpet and lowering his mouth to feast on her delectable twat. He ate her out voraciously, like he was starved to drink her delicious nectar."

Bridget's Boy Toy -- Elain Shuel

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"'Or maybe,' he continued, his gaze fixed on Hunter, his mouth grim, 'maybe you want your own mouthful of man juice.'"

Going All In -- Jess Dee

Unless this was written by a 15 month old nursling, someone's got some issues.

"Heavy with milk and ripe for suckling, her tantalizing nipples, with their dusky aureoles, stood proud and mouth-watering."

Undeniable Rogue -- Annette Blair

P.S. The sexualization of breastfeeding leads to higher rates of formula use and a steady reduction in the overall health and physical well being of children in our society. Uncle Walter & The Wife support breastfeeding rights and encourage all women to feed their children in this most natural and beneficial of ways.

Clagnar's Human Rinds! It's a buncha muncha cruncha human!

"His mouth is in my cunt, all open and fresh for munching."

Simply Seduced -- Wickham Boyle (Seductions: Tales of Erotic Persuasion)

But getting the ground tiger penis into the Baby Bottle Pop® was proving problematic.

"She heard a slurp and a pop, and she imagined him licking her juices off his finger."

Chemistry to Burn -- Lacey Savage (Feral Heat)

Yo quiero un taco de pescado!

"Once she felt his touch, she’d realized she’d keep her little Chihuahua haircut from now on."

One Torrid Beginning -- Leia Mann