Uncle Walter's Bad Romance Novel Quotes

Guess who failed chemistry?

"He looked right at her and she almost had an orgasm. His intense gaze stripped her clothes away as it meandered over her body. Her nipples tightened. Oh, man, he started an ache deep inside her. She needed a fire extinguisher!
'Jeremy Hunter?' he supplied. 'I hear that a lot.'
'Huh?'
He grinned, as if he knew exactly the effect he had on her. 'People tell me I look like Jeremy Hunter, the actor.'
She mentally shook her head to clear it, not sure what exactly had passed between them. Yeah right, she knew exactly what had happened. Testosterone had crashed into estrogen and there'd been a sexual explosion."

It's a Wonderful Life -- Karen Kelley (I'm Your Santa)

Spermnesia

"With a hoarse cry, almost a shout, Jamie shoved her down hard upon him and unleashed the hot spurt of his seed deep inside her. The feel of his warm liquid bathing her loins sent a shattering sensation through her and she knew no more."

Lord of the Night -- Connie Mason

Once you pop, the fun doesn't stop!

"Touching his cock was like eating chips; I couldn't stop after just one."

Big Girls Do It Better -- Jasinda Wilder

It probably would have been better if she'd waited for the novocaine to wear off first.

"Her mouth was extremely wet around his sack and he could feel saliva oozing from her lips and dripping onto his inner thighs."

 Sex Stalker -- Darren G. Burton

A vision-impaired wolverine. Like Hugh Jackman with his pupils dilated.

"His britches were undone and her hand encountered a slab of hot, hard flesh pushing and prodding against her skirts. It seemed to have a life of its own, like a blind animal."

Sweet Temptation -- Caroline Standish

Polyneuropathy is a serious condition! Quit screwing around and get to a doctor!

"Then her groans of pleasure became whimpers, crying out as pleasure like she had never known before engulfed her, leaving her mindless, lost in a vortex of such scorching pleasure it reached to her fingertips and toes."

The Diamond Bride -- Carole Mortimer

Scented Chloroform Body Spray, for when Rohypnol is just too much effort!

"'One kiss, Connor,' she whispered, already feeling drugged by the sleepy bedroom scent of him."

Waking Up Married - Mira Lyn Kelly

Old Spicy Sweat Scented Odorant Mate Attractant

"He smelled of mint and perspiration -- and desire."

Angel Be Good -- Kathy Carmichael

Someone went a little overboard with the teeth whitener...

"Genda's agreement won him a smile brighter than the Hawaiian sunshine from Queen Cynthia. He felt as if a bomb had gone off in front of him and he'd got flash-burned."

End of the Beginning -- Harry Turtledove

"Strawberries? Did you know there’s only one thing on Earth that I’m allergic to?" And it becomes painfully obvious that this will not end well.

"She held a condom aloft in triumph.
'Strawberry flavored.'"

Daring in the Dark -- Jennifer LaBrecque