Uncle Walter's Bad Romance Novel Quotes

Fortunately she had a twat the size of Alaska to accommodate him.

"If it hadn't been for the backlit flames in his eyes or the uneven breathing, she probably would have been ticked, but Mr. I Feel Nothing had a hard-on bigger than Texas."

Just Let Go -- Kathleen O'Reilly

Ouch my eyes! It's like being shot in the eyes by a glitter gun!

"He did not know what, only that he exploded with an orgasm so powerful his back arched, his muscles swelling, contracting, a roped ripple that made him go blind with pleasure."

Tiger Eye -- Marjorie M. Liu

Thank God he took out all his intestinal tinder before they began!

"Each time Matt thrust into him, Vic felt as if his lover's thick cock struck sparks off his tender prostate."

Parking Lot Hero -- J.M. Snyder

P.S. Link is not for this title, but another book by this author.

Everybody says you've got Great Balls of Fire

"Your nuts pull close to your body and expand into red hot bowling balls."

The Second Person -- Alessia Brio

His dick wick was saturated in her love gas and the friction caused a burn

"Resa rose onto her knees and rubbed the head against her wet sex, creating a burn that ran down his length into his balls and spread like wildfire throughout his body."

An Unwanted Hunger -- Ciana Stone

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"'Or maybe,' he continued, his gaze fixed on Hunter, his mouth grim, 'maybe you want your own mouthful of man juice.'"

Going All In -- Jess Dee

Do my kisses burn? Do they take your breath? You've got a lesson to learn now... I'm the kiss of death!

"Her body clenched around him, then quaked as her orgasm slammed into her, ripping through her aching heart, flaying her wounded soul until nothing was left but the honesty of the moment." 

My Christmas Wish -- Ember Case

But it hadn't finished its homework yet.

"Aaron’s cock was on fire to get out of his pants and play."

What He Wants -- Eden Cole

P.S. Link is not for this title, but another book by this author.

And an uppercut of lust split his lip as he nursed third degree burns

"A fist of need slammed hard into his belly as she heated to a blaze in his arms."

On Thin Ice -- Eve Gaddy

What if you'd replaced your K-Y® with As33?!

"You might have been booby-trapped. Had a pussy full of poison or something."

Catch a Falling Star -- Allyson James