Uncle Walter's Bad Romance Novel Quotes

Warning: Do not feed her blood to vampires under the age of 12 months

"He took her into his mouth, his tongue brushing gently until the peak was wet and tender-hard, and her veins were filled with simmering honey."

Secrets of a Summer Night -- Lisa Kleypas

Give him some air! He's having a paroxysmal supraventricular tachycardia attack!

"His eager cock, which was causing a substantial tent at the front of his slacks, seemed to pulse in time with the beat of his heart. A beat, that just happened to be following a double time rhythm at the moment."

Zane's Way -- Maggie Casper

If you don't eat yer meat, you can't have any pudding! How can you have any pudding if you don't eat yer meat?

 "She swallowed his sperm. Glenn saw that no remnants remained, when Bridget opened her mouth and it was all gone."

Bridget's Boy Toy -- Elaine Shuel

Ooh! Fire! I mean Five! I mean Fore!

"His tongue danced wonders over each nipple, his hands stroking, driving her need higher."

Fierce Dawn -- Amber Scott

My tongue says sangrita but my heart says... michelada.

"The tip dripped glistening liqueur that tasted much more strongly of salt and male." 

The Bite of Silence -- Mary Hughes

If he starts to win, shoot him.

"'We're about to play a game. I'm going to suck you both. Whoever holds out longer gets to fuck me. Feel free to sabotage each other however you like.'
Silas turned to Colby and growled, 'You're going down.'
'No, I am.' Lucy chuckled around Silas's shaft as she pumped Colby with her petite hand."

Northern Exposure -- Jayne Rylon, Mari Carr

Don't panic! I'll stop the blood flow, you dial 911, I knew that erection was too much for you to handle.

"She used him as her anchor then, her grip like a vise, a tourniquet, until he lost all feeling in his ill-used shaft."

Undeniable Rogue -- Annette Blair

Commence operation... "Vacu-Suck"!

"Simon licked his lips and she moaned, her head thrashing as he began exploring every curve and crevice of her spasming sex. She felt the tiny entrance pulsing, straining, weeping freely.
The tip of a finger circled the clenching opening, then pushed a scant bit inside. Her body sucked hungrily at it, luring it deeply into the spot where she throbbed for him."

Don't Tempt Me -- Sylvia Day

He's like fire & ice & rage. He's like the night & the storm in the heart of the sun. He's ancient & forever. He burns at the centre of time & he can see the turn of the universe. In his pants.

"He shot his seed into her and a thousand brilliant stars seemed to sparkle between them, fading into the soft dusk of her mind."

Fierce Dawn -- Amber Scott

It had taken years of hard work, several bribes, and a shoe horn to get there. Relentless dick.

"With a groan, Matt was over her, his manhood deeply insinuated in her femininity."

Comanche Bride -- Emma Merritt