Uncle Walter's Bad Romance Novel Quotes

Everybody says you've got Great Balls of Fire

"Your nuts pull close to your body and expand into red hot bowling balls."

The Second Person -- Alessia Brio

His dick wick was saturated in her love gas and the friction caused a burn

"Resa rose onto her knees and rubbed the head against her wet sex, creating a burn that ran down his length into his balls and spread like wildfire throughout his body."

An Unwanted Hunger -- Ciana Stone

If they have to tell you it's in? Then it's not in.

 "It was fantastic. Mind-blowing. You're a great lover, Ryan. Your cock is so big and hard. You got me so fucking wet just now. It almost felt like you were really fucking me."

Sex Stalker -- Darren G. Burton

Over two hundred reports of ear sex have been confirmed so far, prompting a new slogan, "Once you go Black, you go deaf."

"He filled her like no man ever had."

Bound for the Holidays: Ties That Bind, book 1 -- Mackenzie McKade

At Sex U, our faculty and staff are dedicated to your academic and career development.

"Chris rolled over on the towel and leaned his head on his hand, 'My darling, I think you have just graduated from soccer mom to MILF!'"

Confessions of a Slut Wife -- Laura B. Cooper

We gonna make some cooch chili or what?

"Her female places went molten—she swore there was lava down there."

Double Trouble -- Allyson James

"Lard Butt" or "Fanny Batter"? You decide.

"Today, she shimmied into a yellow skirt that cupped her butt like she'd sat in a tub of butter."

Overexposed -- Leslie Kelly

"Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!"

"Each rocking motion of the boat conspired to drive him deeper into her tight moist cunt until he felt it. A barrier."

In His Own Defense -- Ann Jacobs

She was so hot for him that she could reheat chili in her cooch. Mm... Cooch Chili...

"He wasted no time in shedding her sexy lingerie on the carpet and lowering his mouth to feast on her delectable twat. He ate her out voraciously, like he was starved to drink her delicious nectar."

Bridget's Boy Toy -- Elain Shuel

She'd even shaved "Welcome" into her pubic hair

"Her legs wrapped around his trim hips, opening her pussy to invite him inside."

Northern Exposure -- Jayne Rylon, Mari Carr