Uncle Walter's Bad Romance Novel Quotes

Yo quiero un taco de pescado!

"Once she felt his touch, she’d realized she’d keep her little Chihuahua haircut from now on."

One Torrid Beginning -- Leia Mann

The Tale of Lemmiwinks was an inspiration to small mammals and reptiles everywhere.

"He entered me again and again, and every time, his cock grew longer. After the twentieth thrust, an unusual but extremely pleasurable thing happened. I felt his colossal cock wander throughout my body, finally going up my esophagus and emerging out of my mouth.
I looked down, my eyes straining to focus. The crown of his mouth was now dangling out of my mouth, as though to say hi. It looked like a tiny snake, but I knew it was no snake."

The Magic Cock in Gay Heaven -- Nathan J. Morissey

Brawndo. The Hymen Mutilator. It's got what virgin's crave.

"She might be a virgin, but she was also a doctor, and she understood what her body craved. "

Love In Bloom -- Karen Rose Smith

Unfortunately it only knew "It's a Small World" -- so he had to kill it.

"Her pussy hummed beneath his heated examination and her juices began to flow between her legs."

Scorpion King -- Marianne LaCroix

A date with Baron Samedi always ended the same way: Sex, Death, or Resurrection. Sometimes all three.

"The sex god pushed his cock so deep into me that I thought it would penetrate all the way to the other side and out of my stomach."

The Magic Cock in Gay Heaven -- Nathan J. Morissey

Why you should never call it "screwing" to someone who used a "Sit 'N Spin" as a kid.

"She sank on him, taking him slowly inside her, circling to work her way down his length until at last she sat flush against his groin."

Arctic Dragon -- Delilah Devlin (Royal Bondage)

'Cause who doesn't like a pile of loot? This is my life as a Viking wife.

"Just as Kinji felt her orgasmic high decreasing, Edwin put his thick and long curved penis inside, putting wonderful pressure on her G-Spot. Kinji couldn't breath, the orgasm ransacking her body."

Inconvenient Love -- Elizabeth LaShaun

Your diaphragm's ugly and you look like a shark brain!

"He shuddered in her arms as the rapid pulsing of his cock teased her womb."

P.S. Click the link.

Cowboy Up -- Vicki Lewis Thompson

Wow, that chick has her work cut out for her!

"Sweat tickled his stomach, pooling with his leftover come in his navel." 

P.S. Click the link.

Acquired Taste (or maybe Icing on the Cake) -- Shayla Kersten

Sexual Origami: Bend it like Buddha

"Almost folding her completely in on herself, he made love to her as if possessed."

Slow Burn -- E.B. Walters